Considering life and death
I just got off the phone with my Grandparents. Even in their 80’s it’s hard to keep up with them. They decided the spare bed was too uncomfortable for guests, so they’ve torn out an unused office in theier home and are remodelling it to become a guest bedroom. I’m told there is plaster and garbage everywhere for the time being. When you reach that age, you could only hope to have half the energy that exists in their household. The energy comes mostly from my grandma though, since my grandpa’s health has really taken away from his enjoyment of life.
From a health perspective, my grandpa has been taking increasing amounts of Nitro. For anyone like me who doesn’t know squat about this stuff, Nitro causes blood vessels to swell in order to improve the flow of blood to the heart. Concerned with the quantity, his doctor had him in the hospital for 4 hours of tests, and the results are expected on Wednesday. Asked whether he would consider heart bypass surgery, if necessary, he said no.
I love this guy. A great guy, just like his licence plate says: GR8GUY. He’s had medical problems of one kind or another for a long time, and over the past 20 years we’ve often made emergency trips to see him in case it was our last chance. He’s been severely depressed for a long time, as his health prevents him from enjoying life they way he always has; I’m sure there’s more, but what do I know. I just find myself very sad at the thought that if a situation came where this surgery was his only chance and continuing his life, he would refuse.
It’s difficult to be staring down your own mortality. I can’t pretend to understand. I feel so much love for him.